Mar
10

Stephanie and Beer Become Jersey and Bowling

Pornstars,Sex,Times I Almost Died,Women | Tuesday March 10 2009 12:55 am | Comments (1) Tags: , , ,

I was hoping to have a post about my shenanigans in FLOSS ANGELES ready for you guys, but the reality is that I am still in the process of piecing it together from the accounts of my friends since I wasn’t sober for most of it.

For those of you who have been following along, this post is a continuation of Stephanie and Motivational Juice

The next morning Nick called to explain what had happened. I scared the shit out of her with my gun and she liked me and “didn’t want to move too fast with me.” GREAT I get the party favor to fall in love so she wants to take it slow. Nick also informed me that he had a surprise coming from California for me, a porn star we will call Jersey. Now I was all set to turn the negative into a positive. I thought great, Stephanie loves me, I can at least score a three some out of this. The First moment I met Jersey we clicked. I picked her up from the airport with Stephanie riding shotgun. Had Stephanie not been there, I would have taken Jersey in the back seat of my car in the airport parking lot. From the moment Jersey got into the car I sensed tension with Stephanie, but I didn’t quite realize why. Later that night back at Nick’s house, I sensed that Stephanie did not like me talking to Jersey so I decided to split them up — Jersey on the patio and Stephanie on the couch. I split my time evenly between the two. I sat inside and played around with Stephanie and then I sat outside and played around with Jersey. I decided that Jersey was the one that I wanted and I was going in for the kill when she stopped me and said “I would love to **** you but Stephanie said I can’t and that she really likes you.” So now I’m sitting here with the only loyal porn star on the face of the earth who I am dieing to **** and fifteen feet from me is a porn star so in love that she wants to take it slow with a guy that doesn’t even like her! I decided to drink my problems away and come up with a new plan.

I don’t remember the plan, but what I do remember about that night is when Jersey slapped on Pink Boxing gloves and I got up to let her take a swing. Nick got out the HD cam and started rolling. I permitted her to take a swing thinking she would hit me in the arm and it would be a girly punch. Little did I know she straight out mike Tyson smacked me in the face. My lip immediately started to hemorrhage blood. I didn’t feel much though as alcohol tends to block pain. I am not to sure what happened after that, but I think I decided that after not only striking out with two porn stars but also being punch in the face by one, it was time to call it a night.

The next day we all decided to go bowling. Stephanie brought a date, no doubt to try and make me jealous which would never work…because I didn’t like her, and I straight up don’t care. I was the happiest man on earth, she had a date so I was free to have sex with Jersey. Bowling is a license to drink and act like a moron (my specialties) so that is just what I did. Stephanie’s date was not to happy with the way I was acting and Stephanie was pissed that I was hitting on Jersey. Additionally, Jersey was pissed because she still wasn’t allowed to **** me as Stephanie took her to the bathroom to let her know the rules were still in place. Meanwhile, Nick just sat and watched the saga unfold.

I decided this was going nowhere and there was a cute girl in very short white shorts was bowling next to us. Now when I see an ass I like, I make a little chomp noise with my teeth. When my motivational juice is flowing through my system, I cant help it; I like to bite ass regardless if I know the girl or not. I started to make my way over to introduce myself to the young lady and let her know that I would like to bite her ass. Nick knew instantly what I was about to do and tried to stop me. “She is with like six guys Lizard, don’t be a moron.” I don’t care, I want to bite some ass. Nick knew that there was no stopping me so he begged. The begging did not work and I proceeded to say very loudly CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP I WANT TO BITE SOME ASS.

The guys she was with knew I was talking about her, she knew I was talking about her, the porn stars we were with knew I was talking about her, but nobody did anything about it. We wrapped the night up surprisingly without incident and the next morning Jersey was on her way back to California. I hated Stephanie so much for not letting Jersey have sex with me that we never spoke again. Even today when I go to Nick’s house I still sense tension between us. I am deeply upset when I sit alone thinking I am going to die having been the only man (other than Nick— for good reason) that met Stephanie and did not have sex with her. It is a sad thought for The Lizard to say the least!


Use to email this story to a friend, post it on Facebook, or anything else you can think of.

Save yourself from tickets!

Talk to LV Lizard, Comment Below!

One Response to “Stephanie and Beer Become Jersey and Bowling”

  1. […] story is continued here: Stephanie and Beer become Jersey and Bowling Use SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “Stephanie and Motivational Juice”, url: […]

Leave a Comment