Jan
30

No Glass (or Dogs) By The Pool

Cars,Sex,Women | Friday January 30 2009 9:39 am | Comments (4) Tags: , , , , , ,
For those of you that don’t know, I live on the intercoastal (basically the ocean). I have a dock in my back yard and about 30 steps further, there is a beautiful community pool. I like to take my laptop out there, throw the air card in, and do a little work poolside / oceanside with a Corona. Glass bottles are not allowed at the pool but who cares right? I like to bring my little dog Vinny to the pool as well even though dogs are not supposed to be roaming around the pool. I have never had a problem for a whole year of living here until today, but have had a problem following the rules for most of my life.
Let’s backtrack just a bit: about a week ago, I was walking my dog Vinny and out came this amazingly good looking girl with a little tea cup dog just like mine. Obviously a Jewish girl, which immediately gets my dick hard as I know all Jewish girls are crazy in bed and love to give head. She then tells me she went to the same university I went to and when I said my name she instantly knew who I was because of all the newspaper articles reporting my crazy antics and the many parties I had.That was the first IN! She then asked where I lived and when I pointed to the house with a different exotic car in the driveway everyday she said “Ohhhhhhhh” that was my second IN. She pointed to her house and I mentioned that I had met her boyfriend a while back and it was weird that I had never met her. She was quick to point out that he is a recent EX and at that instant I knew she was mine. I made some small chit chat and mentioned that I was recently broken up with just like her (a total lie) and then invited her into my home for a drink.
A few drinks later and you could tell this girl who we will call Jen (honestly I don’t even remember her name so this isn’t a fake name so much as it is a made-up  name) was in desperate need of some cock. She was depressed about her ex and talking up a storm about the old days of our university. She even mentioned the fact that some of her friends had sex with me and had nothing but good things to say. I didn’t remember the friends but I played along like I did. After a  short stint of drinking and reminiscing, I decided it was time to move in for the kill. The lizard came out and grabbed her by the waist, whispered a few sweet things into her ear, and then gave her a nice soft kiss. That is all it really takes to unleash the sexual beast out of a depressed, sex-starved Jewish girl! Before I knew it, we had covered all three couches on my second floor, my bed on the third floor, and finished up in the first floor game room. I then sent her on her way knowing full well I wouldn’t have to deal with her again seeing as how I am moving a few days after (which happens to be TODAY!)
That brings us to TODAY! I decided to get some work done and I walked out to the pool with some beer in hand, and Vinny following. Low and behold she is at the pool reading a school counselor magazine (I forgot to mention she is a preschool teacher). She is looking great in a bikini so I once again got instantly horny for some crazy Jewish bitch head. We said our hellos and I sat next to her to be respectful, not that I am respectful but I kind of wanted some pool side pussy so I had to pretend. I’m getting phone calls left and right and replying to emails so the chit chat is held to a minimum. All of a sudden her mom, who she is staying with until she gets her own place, arrives at the pool and all hell breaks loose.
“You cant have a dog at the pool”  she says. “Oh he is cool; he wont piss anywhere, he wont bother you, he just sits on his chair and chills” I say. “I have a dog too and he is crying at home because I know I cant take him here,” she says; to which I reply “bring him, I won’t mind”. Our petty argument was a useless battle and her daughter who I violated a few days before was growing more and more embarrassed. Then her mom then realized I had glass bottle at the pool and gave me yet another lecture. Not wanting to hear it (and wanting to get a last nut off in the Jewish girl I have named Jen) I decided to be nice and take Vinny home. I asked them to watch my stuff and the mom gave me the ever so snooty “are you done with your beers, you cant have glass at the pool”. That was enough to make the lizard get upset and when you get the lizard upset bad things happen. I replied by telling her that I am not a child I can drink glass bottles without spilling and/or dropping and breaking them. She said once again: “but they are not allowed. What if you had an accident?” Now the lizard is in deff-con one thousand. I took the three empty bottles I had, picked them up, and slammed them down breaking glass all over the pool area then yelled out “OOPS THE CHILD DROPPED THE GLASS BOTTLES”, gave the mom a big smile and yelled out to Jen “call me later sweetheart!”
I would love to have a video / audio feed of what the mother said to the daughter as I was walking away. I can only imagine it was funny as hell. That being said, I would normally end this with AND JEN WILL NEVER FUCK ME AGAIN but I have no doubt in my mind that she will be coming over late night to get some bad boy JewC. I bet she got wet just watching me throw those beer bottles on the floor to spite her strict mothers wishes. As a matter of fact, I bet she excused herself to the bathroom to immediately masturbate to the thought of my bad boy antics. Jewish girls are crazy like that and that’s what makes them so wonderful to be with. Only time will tell but I’m willing to bet little miss Jewish Jen will be over later tonight…

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4 Responses to “No Glass (or Dogs) By The Pool”

  1. haley says:

    want to know why jewish girls give great head?… it’s a free meal
    (its ok that i make that joke, I’m jewish myself)
    all in all, sounds like you are a naughty boy looking for someone to discipline you :)
    Please tell me there is a story of you encountering a dominatrix girl…that would be awesome!

  2. LV Lizard says:

    I am a naughty lizard but I cant be disciplined.

    Sorry to dissapoint you but there has not been a time where I have had a run in with a dominatrix. I like to be in controll so the DOM thing doesnt really work for me. I did once have a run in with a Milf who bit me hard enough to draw a massive amount of blood. She then tried to kill me with her cats. It is a story that will be posted one day……… you will just have to keep visiting

  3. Ferrari says:

    So, did she come over? 😉

    • LV Lizard says:

      She did not come over that night like I had expected. I thought maybe I was wrong (for once) but the next morning as I was pulling a car out of the garage she popped out and asked for a ride. I gave her one in the car…then one back at my house

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