http://www.lvlizard.com Sex Cars Guns and Girls Thu, 16 Apr 2009 04:59:03 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I frequent a bar in Fort Lauderdale almost 4 days a week. I have had sex with all of the bartenders, the shot girls, and the door girls. Well, all of them except one, but I am working on closing that daily. Not to go off topic but she is ... http://www.lvlizard.com/the-night-the-bouncer-kicked-my-ass/ This story does not involve women or anything particularly wild, but it's a story I was just thinking about today when talking with my old friend/boss who we called Tuna. Tuna is the guy who taught me everything I know in the car business. I sat next to him from ... http://www.lvlizard.com/the-day-tuna-almost-died/ [caption id="" align="alignright" width="154" caption="Regular plates say the county of residence on the bottom"][/caption] In Florida (as in most states) car dealers get special license plates. In Florida it says DEALER on the bottom of the plate instead of the county that issues the plate. I was rolling in South Beach in ... http://www.lvlizard.com/florida-dealer-plates/ Those who know me know that I'm a very impatient person and that having to wait in line drives me nuts. It is the main reason why I refuse to go food shopping: people are way to slow with their carts and then you wait in line and the person ... http://www.lvlizard.com/my-trip-to-the-polls-last-november/ As you know, I just got back from a trip to LA. I booked my flight a month in advance which is rare for me because my trips are usually spur of the moment which causes me to pay double the price for absolutely no reason. This time, however, I ... http://www.lvlizard.com/lizards-cant-fly-how-i-got-banned-from-a-major-airline-jetblue/ I was hoping to have a post about my shenanigans in FLOSS ANGELES ready for you guys, but the reality is that I am still in the process of piecing it together from the accounts of my friends since I wasn't sober for most of it. For those of you who ... http://www.lvlizard.com/stephanie-and-beer-become-jersey-and-bowling/ It is now March 6th 12:07 am I have a flight to Cali and need to be at the airport by 5:30 I am flying to LA just for a friend's birthday (that's how The Lizard rolls) I always wanted to fly somewhere and then buy my clothes after I land. So ... http://www.lvlizard.com/lizard-pre-flight-status-check-floss-angeles/ I would love to jump right into the topic at hand but I first need to let you guys know about the JewC and the magic it seems to bring to strippers and porn stars. The JewC has an amazing ability to make women fall in love and obey every ... http://www.lvlizard.com/stephanie-and-motivational-juice/ In typical fashion I come home from a long day of work ready to unwind, read a bit, drink a bit, and get ready to go out. I walk into my house and a naked girl greets me at my front door. I would have taken her right to my ... http://www.lvlizard.com/three-girls-and-viagra/ Keep in mind I’m drunk still and its 8:48 in the AM so this may not be the greatest told story but it is a great story nonetheless So my buddy who happens to be one of my biggest clients as well as one of the largest rednecks I have ever ... http://www.lvlizard.com/peter-er-uh-i-mean-josh-hartnett-gets-me-laid/